Apparently I'm not the only person in the world who can intelligently rant.
The following is by my wife, posted on her behalf (as she doesn't want to create and maintain her own blog.)
This is in response to this article: http://www.gayguys.com/2013/10/bisexuals-pushed-lgbt-rights-issues/
This
article talks a lot about bisexual men. I understand there is a
difference between bisexual men and bisexual women as far as acceptance
goes.
As for the male side, this article does a pretty good job of summing it up. I know it is very difficult
for bi men to feel accepted by both straight men and gay men. Lots
either go one way or the other and have one night stands on the side to
fill the need for the other gender (hence the bad rapport of they are
all slutty and sleep around too much).
As
for the female side of things...It seems to me we are accepted by
straight men, but it is not usually an acceptance that comes with respect.
The acceptance we get is "OH your bi...So you can make out with other
chicks and I get to watch and maybe play?! Eh?!" This leads to a lot of
women being more straight but being "bi curious." They get boyfriends
lead the "straight" life and when they are drunk or no one is looking
they make out and have sex with girls on the side. It is all hush hush
no one need know type of life. I have seen it time and time again. This
makes it hard for a female to find a committed relationship with another
girl once she has a guy. Few of the "bi curious" type will mever admit
to being fully bi. "I don't want a relationship with another girl," or
"I don't really like girls I just have a few friends I like to play
with," or "I am not bi I just make out with anything while I am drunk,"
are all things I have heard. For the few I have heard that admit they
are bi it is "well my family would not like it if I was bi or gay so I
will just have to keep you a secret."
Lesbians,
not all of them but a good number, do not like men. Not just they don't
want to sleep them, but they have issues with non gay/transgendered
men. Try telling one of them that you are bi and they just don't
understand. They are usually fine with it, but it they just can not
understand it. They would want nothing to do with a bi female who would
also want a male as far as a relationship goes.
I
personally think there are more bisexual people out there then society
realizes. We just hide or lie to ourselves. It is easier to lie to
yourself and play strait until drunk or curtains are closed to let out
who you truly are. Hell, I lied to myself for years. I knew back when I
was in grade school that I liked girls, but I was a girl I was supposed
to like boys. I liked some so that counts. I must be strait. I am not to
like all boys and I don't like all girls so...I am just strait and
admiring these women. I must want to look like them...that is all,
right?
Also
there is another issue with being bi that is not mentioned when
marriage comes up. Polyamory. When a person is bisexual, and to feel
completely satisfied sexually need both sets of genitalia, it is hard to
have a committed three way relationship. First off, even if you find
two people that fit well with you and of opposite genders, you can not
marry both. It is illegal. That leaves one person out if you decide to
marry one before meeting the other. Also the word Polyamorous has lots
of negative connotations. Let just put the whole "I can play too and
watch right?"on the side. There are some men who think it is all about
them and having lots of wives to have more babies, and who cares if the
women actually like each other, harems. Lots of women are scared of
couples looking cause you never know when it might just be the guy
posting looking for his own harem or they live in a more BDSM style home
and you will be his 24/7 slave. Being a single bi female looking at
couples can be dangerous. So find a guy first and then find the right
chick, but then it comes full circle. There is not a girl who will risk
it.
There
are lots of issues with the bisexual community. I hope one day we can
all learn to be who we are and be okay with who we are. I also hope for
understanding of bisexuals. It is not that we want to sleep with
everyone or everything. We just need both genders in our lives sexually
to feel satisfied. We can want and keep committed relationships even if
it has two other people instead of just one.
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